The Hill

Salam..

Just a brief update today I'm afraid.. To keep the resolution that I've made (updating at least once a week, which I've already missed once), hence this post. In actuality, I'm supposedly doing my slides now for the presentation at ICBioE'11 in two weeks time. But alas, a break is needed to keep the mind fresh, no? =)

My to-do list for now:

1. Completing the slides so that I could have at least a 10-days backup time for the rigorous polishing-up that my supervisors expected.
2. Adding another sub-topic to my paper for journal submission (this is really, really a loooong way to go, but I need to take the first steps lest I'll be swamped by other work-related stuffs this coming months).
3. Practice, practice and practice playing my guitar.. =)) Yep, I'm self-teaching myself for my personal goal achievement as required during YK's Personal Mastery training.. Alhamdulillah, it's getting better now compared to when I first started, which is, horror! ;p
4. Start with the bioreactor for my optimization study.. This one, no comment.. Anybody wants to offer some help? *wink*

Oh well, life goes on. All the best to y'all in everything you do. When there's a will, there's a way.
Thanks for stopping by!

"Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction." ~ Anne Frank

Salam..

It is always interesting when we meet up with old friends or acquaintances, old schoolmates or workmates included. One thing for sure is that people do change, only the magnitude of that changes differ among all. One of the must-ask thing for me are; work, home and hints of any status change *wink*, and not necessarily in that order.

It's nice hearing about other people's life, the experiences that they have, the situations that they'd endured and the nature of the working life. After all, I have:

1. never worked before, and by work, I mean literally work and being in the workforce (hence negating the RA experiences that I have) and hearing about others' tales of exploits.. ;-)
2. always wanted to know the way things worked in other sectors besides engineering and bio stuffs (bio-engineering, bio-technology, bio-chemistry etc. the list goes on). Finance, administrative, accounting, journalism, design, oil and gas, marketing, Q&A, safety, architecture, education, all have their own plus(es) and minus(es). And one thing I learned, being in one definite industry or of one definite position, doesn't mean that it's the best or the worst (and it does not give you the right to belittle other people) because it is simply different. Yang penting, kerja dengan hati yang ikhlas & betul; jangan makan gaji buta atau terlibat dalam kerja-kerja tak berfaedah (atau haram) macam rasuah, back-stabbing etc.. =)

Pic swiped from the internet.. =)

Oh well, to those who are working in your respective fields, work hard and persevere okeh. Be optimistic and pray to God that any problems that come your way, is never without solution. =)

Thanks for reading, and feel free to share any work experiences that you have in the comment box.. *wink*

=)

I've Lost Count On How Many Times I've...

Salam..

It's certainly been a while, isn't it? The truth is, this is attempt #20++ a.k.a. I've lost count of how many times I wanted to update this blog. I'm sure a lot of us have experienced this, where once something happened, the first thing that comes into mind is, "I'm going to blog about this, later."

Only that 'later' sooner or later becomes 'not ever'. One of the things I've noticed is that, once the excitement has passed, I started to question, "Hmm.. Should I post this up? Ala, malas la pulak nak menulis. Banyak lagi benda nak buat.."

--> First moral of the story, don't procrastinate things okeh!

Another thing that I sometimes struggle over is the fact that I'm overthinking about what people *want* to read, as opposed to what I *want* to write. After all, I think most of us who write or blog, truly and really appreciates it when there's feedback from people who read it. It makes me feel warm and understood when this happens, so when none were given, I start thinking that, "Well, this is not interesting enough. Let's find some other things to blog about." So basically, the intent to write has now changed. And that, my dear readers, stresses me out. Period.

--> Second moral of the story, truly understand why you want to do something. If it's truly for personal gratification, then that should be the push @ motivation for you. Surely, you'll feel much more satisfied with result. ;)

So now, I'm thinking of transforming this blog. But, of course, nothing big, just expect some changes on the topics I'll post about. Hopefully, y'all still be reading this after kayh.. Because I will try my best to keep Hearts in Two alive. After all, we've managed for almost five years now, right?

All the best to all! And as usual, thanks for reading!

=))

When Life Give You Lemons...

Salam..

I have always had some trouble expressing myself to other people when I'm sad.. Someone once said that she thought I was angry (because I kept quiet the whole time) when the truth is, I was feeling out of it. Maybe I need a shrink?

Ha-ha..

Nahh, I don't think so, at least not at the moment. Seems like bottling it all inside and let loose once in a while by bawling my eyes out crying is the best medicine for me because I felt calmer and less sad (and more melancholic) and I can keep on functioning like nothing is wrong. That, I think, is more important than dwelling on things that I cannot change without risking things that I don't feel like risking.

=)

Enough with those Kleenex-moment stuffs. Right now I'm preparing for my presentation this evening. Its a proposal presentation, and I've already did the best I could with the slides, so hopefully everything will go as planned.

Wish me luck!

Courtesy of www.phdcomics.com

And thanks for reading.. =)

ps : Just hope that I won't end up like Cecilia here.. lol

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." ~Elisabeth Foley

Salam..

After my last post (with attempt to start writing poem again), I noticed that my friends were concerned due to the dark themes that I diverge into. And I really appreciate their concern even though sometimes I respond evasively. The truth is, I am not ready to share it yet. And it's not because I lack trust in them or something along that line, but its more towards the fact that I'm just not ready. And this might stem from the fact that I've always depended only on myself, being the only child, so I tend to keep it all in. And sometimes I really fear the thought of being alone, so much, that I'd rather put on a smiley face than share the burden with those around me. In my head, I want to be happy when I'm with them, rather than feeling sad and teary-eyed because of things that are out of my control.

I'm really sorry; I really am. I'm trying to change, opening my heart bit by bit to try and let people in. But please give me time. In the future, who knows?

=)

Friends to me, is something very precious, especially those true, sincere friends. I've had a lot of acquaintances, true, but friends that truly care for you is hard to find. I still remember back then, its so hard for me to connect with people my age. My best friend when I was still in BTR was 1 year older than me (so you can imagine how hard it is to hang out together when you are 9 or 10 years old. The only time we had was during band practice and recess time). Then, I had a love-hate relationship with my rival in Standard 3; we were close like sisters but fought like cats in academics. Then, when I had to move after Standard 4, my life was suddenly so different because I had to meet an array of new people at a new school. There was no one that I knew, and no music classes to fall into, and my new classmates were so used to each other that I felt like an outsider right from the start.

The truth is, that is what all new students felt like, don't you agree? But back then, its like a big challenge and I keep asking myself, what can I do? And what I did was retreat back to what I know best; read. I haunted the library every free time I had; and by the time semester 1 ends, I had borrowed almost all the books I deem interesting to read. And the librarian was so used to me that I became the informal assistant for students who wants to borrow books. And it was through this ordeal that I began to make friends who also love reading as I made it easier for them to hang out in the library. And slowly I began to make peace with my classmates and slowly integrate into their close knit groups. The truth is, even back then, I learn to stick by my friends. I still remember one time when a classmate declared war on one of my friends (one word : puppy love), we all stick together and defend her. And when you had people who supports you, life seems so easy and you assured yourself that you can go through everything. Even now, I felt that it is true because when problems start piling in and it feels like the world is crashing down, sometimes to solve it we have to stand back and just take a breather. Think about everyone that still supports you, and know that these people will continue to do so even when you fall. Have faith in that, and then start to see the problem with a fresh mind. From my previous experiences, this helps me to focus on the most important thing, and keep the distractions at bay.

Back to the story, when I started secondary education, with new surroundings, things were better because almost half of the class is my friends from primary school. And some new faces were not *that* new because we go to the same sekolah agama. So fitting in were not quite as difficult as it was before. And because our class is the experimental class (we were the first batch in the school to learn Arabic for PMR, thus the appropriately named 1 Agama), our classes were a teensy-beetsy different than others, and this makes us quite close to each other (more so because as it was, our batch was the only one to make it to 3 Agama thus stamping our domination on the 3A initials). And in this regard, I truly admire the boys of 3A because they still retain that closeness until this very day.. And it was during this 3 years that I began to see why at that age, friends were extremely important. The things we do, the things we say and the way we act, all were in one way or another, being influenced by the people around us. But its suffice to say that during those time, I am truly lucky to be with those whom I could connect with. And the memories of things we all did were imprinted in my mind, along with secrets crushes and codenames that we used. I remember being crazy over Dicky Cheung (of the Journey to the West fame) with Iena, of sawi's and kangkung's with Dilla, of super spy (I wish) secrecy of ADK's drug prevention with Shamina, of canteen day with our classmates, playing at the lake with the Gang, Pasir Salak trip, and lots more. It never fail to put a smile on my face. =)

The once boys and girls of 3A (well, partially),
now grown-ups at Akid's wedding.

Well, still lot more things to say. So, this concludes the first part of this post.. Stay tuned for the next one! =)

ps : Next one will dwell on Semashur & KMM.. And the last part will be on UKM.. =))

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting, that is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - That is patience.” ~ Anonymous

Salam..

It is already March, and the third month of the year marks my fourth month of being unemployed. Oh well, when I put it that way, it does seems that bad right?

=)

After all, it seems like everyone is moving forward with their careers, some are getting married, and going to various wedding celebrations will of course guarantee a meeting with old friends. And one of the never-missed sure questions is, "Hey, so what are you doing now? You've graduated right?"

Yes, I've been a graduate since August 2009, which is 7 months ago. And since then, I've been working for 3 months and quit when the contract is over, while at the same time applying for various positions at various institutions, going for interviews and dreading the outcome every single time.

I applied for Khazanah Watan Scholarship which, for me, is the toughest yet (compared to Shell Scholarship Award) due to its stringent interviews, exams and such. Shortlisted for the 1st stage (which consist of IQ, personality and aptitude test), got through and went for the second stage (where interviews, Apprentice-like board meetings and tasks were given). Waited anxiously for the result and fortunately enough got through to the third stage (which is the final stage and my turn for the interview done by the senior management executive of Khazanah Nasional is interestingly enough done at 7.30 pm).

Went for interview at Universiti Malaya (where the only other candidate is a UK graduate with a sweet smile). Got an email from UiTM inviting me for interview which is complete with a mock teaching session and I chose a field which while I'm sure is becoming pretty important, is quite too specialized compared to conventional chemical engineering subjects.

Both now resides in the same category; my name is submitted and is waiting for the Registrar's approval. And subconsciously I think the current economic condition is preventing the University(s) from hiring but I'm still hoping for the best..... And just a few days ago an email informing me of the outcome of Watan Scholarship finally arrives. Therefore I will be going for the briefing session which hopefully will give me some insight into the deal.

Had also went to some other interviews where one stands out due to the fact that I did not realize I'm being interviewed (and make quite a fool of myself by trying to lighten the mood up and failed miserably) as opposed to just chit-chatting about the topics involved. Being given an ultimatum by another possible-interviewer to come for the interview conducted on the same day with another interview (which I've already committed myself to) and eventually I had to let it go as it would be unethical for me to break my word.

Sometimes it's funny thinking back on all that has happened. But then, money is also a very big issue. The truth is, although I had my own savings, it's never been my habit to spend it because I know how hard it is when you live without a fall-back plan. Therefore, after buying a new laptop to replace my faulty Dell lappie (whose motherboard is toasted), I kinda felt some regrets because after repairing, the Dell machine is working just fine with a motherboard replacement (which costs me almost half 1k) and I hardly use the new one.. *sob* So now, I'm totally broke (and while I think it's an accomplishment to live on my last pay for 4 months when you factor in the fuel, maintenance and food its hardly a good thing walking around with barely RM100 in your bank).. Therefore, I'm thinking of looking for some temporary jobs such as being a RA for 2 or 3 months maybe? So, anyone got any info on this? Lol..

Will update later. Had to find some inspiration to write again. This post is just to let people know I'm alive, and no, I'm not becoming a recluse or something. Honestly I think that FB is being an unsurprising addiction and I think my pets are getting hungry; better go to Pet Society to feed 'em..

Lol.. =p

Adios~

"A man's brain has a more difficult time shifting from thinking to feeling than a women's brain does." ~ Barbara de Angelis

Salam..

It's December already. Sometimes (well, most of the times nowadays), I feel like time moves too fast. But haven't it always seems that way when you're in a deadline? And won't time feels too slow-moving when you're waiting for something?

=)

As it is, I'm both waiting on one thing and am on a deadline for another. So following the process of thoughts above, I should be feeling limbo eyh?

Haha..

Not such luck, I'm afraid. Actually, with pressures from both my parents and my current predicament, I feel kinda rushed to at least get a confirmation of sorts. It would be nice to not always worry, for a change, no?

=)

I am sorry for this mindless wonderings. Haha.. Walking down memory lane, it seems like my style of writing have changed considerably these last few years. Back then, I wrote things that I can read so easily and fluidly, whereas right now, I've got to truly put my mind into it to get those creativity juices flow.

Reading my old Friendster blog seems to enforce this. It's funny thinking I wrote all those posts because I could barely remember it now.

I'm thinking that perhaps my thinking nowadays tend to lean towards my left brain. Well, guess I better start exercising my right brain again.

Right brain?

Alright, time for lesson #1 :

Right and left brain actually refers to the hemispherical parts of our brain. For simplification's sake, our left brain is usually responsible for our logical thoughts, while left brain are mostly related to creative thoughts; hunches etc. That's why, left-brainers are thought to excel in logical jobs such as engineering, computer science and IT while right-brainers loves creative paths such as designers and artists.

Do read more on this if you're interested because some of it is quite technical therefore I did simplify matter by explaining it this way. =)

Anyway, I *do* think that my left brain is more developed, and this is supported by available online tests such as here and here.

Actually there are tonnes of other tests out there, some more fun than technical. It's just up to us to find it. After all, in this Internet-dominated world, all known informations is just at the tip of our fingers, right?

Good luck!

And thanks for reading.

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~ Winston Churchill

Salam..

After suuucchhhhhhh a long time, I've kinda lost the eloquency of writing.. Haha.. Not that I don't know what to write, it's just that even though I've got tonnes of stories to share, there will come a time when I just thought that its better to leave it be..

Oh well, what else to say.. Things have been quite challenging nowadays, what with the thoughts of future and the needs of the present colliding together and mashes things up so finely together that I no longer know how to differ one from the other.

Safe to say is that at this point, I'm considering two 'quite-the-same-route-but-not-quite-really'; first is pursuing my Masters here doing the research that I am doing now, or secondly, by applying for work. Yeah, I know, its a dilemma of some of my friends also at the moment. It's just that with two major opposing force that pulls me here-and-there, its hard to be the one who has to give the final say.

Somebody help me!!!

Its just that, by nature, I'm not someone who did anything by impulse. I over-analyze everything, so much that sometimes its hard to get to the crux of the matter. Its just the way I am. And deep inside. I know that the best thing for me is Route No. 2, mainly because I really like the safety of furthering my studies while at the same time having the security of a job. Some might say that I'm greedy by saying this, but the truth is, I really think that it is our own right to what is best for ourselves. That is something like a reward of studying and getting the best result for the last 16 years, don't you think? Ha-ha..

O-kay, mungkin kedengaran angkat
bakul sedikit di sana, harap maaf.. =p

By the way, I will post something about the last few interviews I did, especially for Khazanah Scholarship because frankly, it's something very interesting to me, and might give others some ideas on what to expect if called for the interview.

Till then, adios!!

And thanks for reading.. =)