Fourth Week Update... =)

Salam..

It's been a whirlwind of a week.. I've got my thesis title already, and though I didn't get my first choice, it's still a blessing coz I still got the concept that I wanted in the first place.

My title :

Hydrogen Production by Industrial Bacteria

Oh well, I really wanted to do the one on H2 Production from POME (Palm Oil Mill Effluent), but, not my day I think.. LoL.. Still, I'm thankful for what it is.

And another thing, last week the group for our Plant Design Project was announced! Walaa.. And till now, we already had 2 meetings.. Haiz, hopefully will got to see our supervisor soon.. There's 6 of us, each with our own 'kepala' but thankfully I've had the opportunity to work with most of them before, so I think we'll adapt soon, insya-Allah.

=)

And, by the way, I've wanted to update a loooooooooooooooooooong time ago (read last week), but just couldn't find the motivation for it.. Funny, isn't it? Coz I sure had a lot to tell.. =) Oh well, what is done is done.. I dun want to cry over spilt milk.. =)




The last few days is already trying as it is.. Problems arise, again and again and again, and I'm right in the middle. It's hard to be the only sane person sometimes, and I know I'm capable of over-rationalizing some things.. Things that really matter to others might be trivial to me, but there's always some part that just like to torture myself, knowing that in truth, there's nothing I can do.

Nobody's perfect, right? But why does it feels like sometimes it's just SO hard to accept the fact that some people just don't even TRY to become better?!! Why always brings up things that in truth, never really matters?? And why bother to ask for my opinion when it's clear as ++++ that you just won't listen?

Nobody's perfect..

I know..

I just had to remind myself
over, and over again..

And maybe starts to question to whom
all my anger is directed at.

Coz it feels like I just want
to be angry at myself..

For not doing enough
For not being open enough
For just thinking that everything would be alright
For just accepting things as they are
For just hoping and believing

Very, very sorry for this pointless post. I just want to let it all out. I can't cry, I don't even have the will to write it all as a new poem for my collection, I just want to sleep, and sleep, and dream.....

Dream of a lifetime ago, when things were just normal.
When I just can laugh and not feel guilty about it..
When black clouds won't shadow my days..

Will that become true someday?

Will I be able to find that peace again??

Peace, it's not just a word..

It's an idea, it's a compilation of actions..

It's a fragment of our imagination when
sometimes we just want to escape.

From everything..

But I do believe it exists..
And I hope I'll be able to arrive there

Someday...

"Fragile"
by Delta Goodrem

Six thoughts at once I can't focus on one
Seven days a week but my life has just begun
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

In six thousand years what will this mean
Words from the heart or a melody
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel nothing at all
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

If people can see right through my eyes
Like an open door that I can't disguise
I won't be afraid from the tears I cry
I'll not run I'll not hide this is how I feel inside
A little fragile
A little fragile

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile