Ugh, The Nerve of That Person...

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WARNING!! RAMBLING AHEAD.. Skip to the paragraph below the dotted lines to save yourself from these angry-person-impersonating-me words..

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Just had my project presentation a moment ago. It was frustrating, and it was the FIRST time I almost fought with another student because of it. Yep, there were raised voice, and I'm not proud of it. I am just not a person who likes to resort to being mean to get my point across. Who does he thinks he is? Ugh, geramnya!!

I don't regret standing up to my point, and I don't mind defending it, but could you just stop searching for every little detail that you can bring out in hopes that I can't answer? Well, you chose the wrong person, mister. And, could you just stop giggling after asking me the same questions (although I admit, you changed the wording)? Coz I know you expected me to crumble and fall, cry maybe? Maybe someday I will, but today is not the day.

So, dear mister, please stop behaving like a temperamental child. Wake up and open your eyes. Others may not have your so-called experience like what you gained in your yearly-internship with the company that provided you with your scholarship, but never think that they are beneath you.

... ... ...

Anyway, just one statement to make : I liked working in a group

Notice the d?

Yep, it means past tense.. I used to love working in a group because a lot of fresh ideas can be given out that way.. And it becomes a way for me to learn to communicate well. You see, quite some time ago, I always shut my mouth in the company of people whom I do not know. Why? Because I tend to talk so fast that people can't understand what I'm saying, and they were like nodding with those strained smiles on their faces, and within a moment I will realize they didn't understand and I would become embarrassed and be quiet.

So, I became a listener. In fact, I become so good at it that people don't notice if I'm listening to them when what I was doing was thinking about other things (hehe.. still did this sometimes, but I do listen, promise!!). But the fact is, being in a group teaches me to slow down, present my ideas so that others could understand and weigh the possibilities that what I said could be right. I love a group where animated (or heated) discussion were done, and then achieve the best possible solution to counter the problems. I like being in the process of making the decisions together.

But one thing that causes the d to appear is when the other members of the group refused to contribute. That is a very big problem because for me, I believe in a democratic arrangement. I don't want to be a dictator, and I never wanted to be in control coz frankly, I've been there, done that. So why not let others become the leader? But its hard being the only one who is enthusiastic. I did all the work already, couldn't someone at least help me during the barrage of questions thrown my way? But, no, silence rule.

I just wanted to give people a chance. Little did I know that that would be my biggest mistake. Maybe from now on I had to be the puppeteer that pull the strings? Or be the shadow King (or Queen in my case)? Is it so hard to ask you to share some ideas? And I'm sorry if my face looks a bit funny while you were telling me about what I should have added during my counter-answer when I was desperately looking at you guys with, "Guys, I need some help here.." written all over my face, and you didn't even bother to gave me any hints.

I'm really sorry for feeling this way. Maybe it's not fair to you guys, but right now, I'm just too steamed to be soft. Just let me cool down a bit.. And for anyone who reads this, sorry for the above ranting.. It is a frustrating thing on my part, but I'm glad I let it all out.

Me, the evil-twin-self stops writing here.. Muahaha!

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Well, thanks for the comments for my last post.. Really appreciate it, though I couldn't really say that this is an entry for the "Chef of February" contest. Sorry, Hilman. I'll tell you when it's ready ok. And abg peng, don't be too sure of a sure-win yea.. Lol.. Just kidding.. =)

I will be having 3 mid-semester exams next week. On Monday, we will be going to Jalan Kuchai Lama for an industrial trip to Ajinomoto. Then, the very next day is Ethics exam. On Wednesday, we will have to sit for two exams, Bioreactor and Mechanic Design. Friday is reserved for Utilities Design.. Wah, I haven't studied yet!!

Still no reply from Shell although most of my coursemates who goes for the interview has already gotten an answer, but I have already started to search for other companies who will take interns for 10 weeks period of time. Can give me any suggestions?

Anyway, wish me luck k! Perhaps, I will take a break for a week or so. Gotta study for the exams! Hehe.. But, don't worry, I'll visit your blogs, only I don't think I can manage any updates for this week and early next week. But might do if I have a good news to tell. *wink*

And although this is just a short post, but thanks for reading yea.
=)